| Communication being the mother of all skills must | | | | Examples of Passive Communicationo "I don't |
| be mastered by one and all for professional as | | | | know."o "Whatever you think."o "You have more |
| well as personal success. Communication is an art | | | | experience than I. You decide."o "I'll go with |
| which has to be mastered by the professionals | | | | whatever the group decides."o "I don't care. It |
| irrespective of their position. The components of | | | | doesn't matter to me."o "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, |
| communication are Listening, Speaking, Reading | | | | yes, yes. . . NO!" |
| and Writing (LSRW). If you master these | | | | Aggressive Communicationo Protecting one's own |
| components, you will become good manager and | | | | rights at the expense of others' rights - no |
| able to get the things done to the satisfaction of | | | | exceptions.o The goal of the aggressor is to win |
| your superiors. | | | | at all costs; to be right.o Does not consider |
| Listening being the first component of | | | | actions a risk because this person thinks they will |
| Communication skill, one has to practice this skill | | | | always get their way. It is risky in terms of |
| with all the attentiveness required to reciprocate, | | | | relationships, however.o Eye contact is angry and |
| react and to give constructive feedback. | | | | intimidating; lots of energy; loud and belittling; |
| Without listening one cannot be effective in | | | | never defers to others, or at least does not |
| discharging their duties in the workplace. | | | | admit to; manipulative and controlling. Often uses |
| In a nutshell, listening is considered as the key skill | | | | violence or verbal abuse. |
| in communicating with others. For example, if you | | | | Examples of Aggressive Communicationo "I don't |
| do not listen attentively, you cannot discharge | | | | know why you can't see that this is the right way |
| your duties effectively to the satisfaction of your | | | | to do it."o "It's going to be my way or not at all."o |
| boss. You may lose the edge over your | | | | "You're just stupid if you think that will work."o |
| competitors in the workplace. Your appraisal may | | | | "That kind of logic will sink the company."o "Who |
| not be up to the mark. If you are a Secretary or | | | | cares what you feel. We're talking about making |
| a Stenographer, you must be more attentive | | | | things work here." |
| compared to others. One small mistake | | | | Passive-Aggressive Communicationo Forfeiting |
| committed due to lack of attention may put the | | | | your own rights initially, followed by manipulation |
| project in problem which you are handling. | | | | and vengeance later.o The goal of this style is to |
| Proactive listening will help you to climb the ladder | | | | avoid conflict and then make the other party wish |
| of success. Active listening is that wherein you | | | | they had seen it your way.o Avoids risk initially, |
| are active only in listening, but proactive listening | | | | risks relationships later, then acts surprised when |
| will motivate and prompts you to take action on | | | | people are mad.o Behaves passively to people's |
| the points which you have listened through your | | | | face, then aggressively when they are not |
| boss, peers or subordinates. This will help you to | | | | around. Often uses sarcasm. |
| become a key member of the team. You have | | | | Examples of Passive-Aggressive Communicationo |
| take the expression as it is while listening to the | | | | "Sure, doctor. I'd be happy to write that verbal |
| speaker but should not react immediately. | | | | order," but back on the unit the order is |
| Speaking can be mastered only with practice. The | | | | "forgotten."o "I love your hair. Most people |
| ability to speak clearly will determine the | | | | probably can't even tell it's a wig."o "I hear what |
| effectiveness of the individual in the workplace. | | | | you're saying, and I wouldn't want to make |
| Your clarity of thought is reflected in your way of | | | | waves, so I'll do what you say even though |
| speaking and choosing the right words. Choosing | | | | someone will probably get sued." |
| the right words for the right occasion to express | | | | Assertive Communicationo Protecting your own |
| in the right place and with right people will help you | | | | rights without violating the rights of others.o The |
| to master the art of speaking. One has to | | | | goal of the assertive person is to communicate |
| practice this art of speaking by understanding the | | | | with respect and to understand each other; to |
| situation and the vocabulary of different industry | | | | find a solution to the problem.o Takes a risk with |
| segments with which you are associated. SIP in | | | | others in the short run, but in the long run |
| the field of education means Summer Internship | | | | relationships are much stronger.o Eye contact |
| program but the same SIP sounds different in the | | | | maintained; listens and validates others; confident |
| field of banking i.e. Systematic Investment Plan. | | | | and strong, yet also flexible; objective and |
| Before globalization the jargon of recruitment is | | | | unemotional; presents wishes clearly and |
| different from post globalization. Previously it was | | | | respectfully. |
| recommendation and now it was with reference | | | | Examples of Assertive Communicationo "So what |
| you can find a placement of your choice. | | | | you're saying is. . . ."o "I can see that this is |
| Now-a-days, many are spelling the word schedule | | | | important to you, and it is also important to me. |
| as schedule due to the influence of American | | | | Perhaps we can talk more respectfully and try to |
| work culture in the Indian Work Place. Observation | | | | solve the problem."o "I think. . . I feel. . . I believe |
| also will help you to become a good speaker. | | | | that. . . ."o "I would appreciate it if you. . ." |
| Positive expression while talking to your boss, | | | | Assertiveness Skills |
| peers, and subordinates will create positive vibes | | | | I - Persistence |
| in the workplace. You should not go to your boss | | | | 1. Stay focused on the issue - do not get |
| with the word 'complaint' in your expression; | | | | distracted, defensive, or start justifying yourself. |
| instead you must rearrange the sentence with | | | | 2. Repeat the "bottom line" to keep the |
| the expression as 'I would like to bring to your | | | | conversation on track and your issues on the |
| kind notice'. This way, one can master speaking | | | | table (e.g., "I understand that, however we are |
| skills in the workplace and help in creating positive | | | | talking about. . ."). |
| vibrations in the workplace. | | | | 3. Alternative styles would withdraw or would |
| Emotional intelligence/balance while speaking will | | | | escalate this to a battle of wills that would |
| give you edge over others. One must be | | | | override compromise. |
| Assertive communicator while talking to others. | | | | II - Objectivity |
| Aggressive communication or reaction will spoil the | | | | 1. Focus on the problem, not on the emotions that |
| atmosphere and may not help in getting the | | | | often accompany and cloud problems. Postpone |
| things done. The communication must be apt to | | | | discussion if emotions cannot be contained. |
| the situation and should not express in over tones. | | | | 2. Use the validation skill (next) to handle others' |
| Your perception will influence your way of | | | | emotions so you can focus on objective issues. |
| communicating with others. One should not | | | | III - Validationo Allow people to have their |
| impose the perception or opinion on others | | | | experience, but try to move beyond it to a |
| through their way of expression. You must give | | | | discussion about the problem.o You do not |
| choice and freedom to others to choose and | | | | necessarily have to disagree or agree - people's |
| express their view point. If you are precise and | | | | perspectives are important, but they are not the |
| pin pointed with your communication, you can | | | | heart of the issue, so don't make a battle over |
| avoid politics in the work place. You can avoid | | | | them. Validate them and get to the issue.o "If |
| grapevine in the workplace. You can avoid heart | | | | that's how you see it, that's fine."o "I can see that |
| burns in the work place. | | | | this upsets you, and from your perspective, I can |
| Reading maketh a complete man. This quote | | | | see why. Now, what can we do to make this |
| reflects the importance of reading in the life of a | | | | better for both of us?" |
| professional. Reading also includes studies, wherein | | | | IV - Owningo Being assertive means you also |
| you have to try to improve your qualifications | | | | must own what is yours to own. If the other |
| and skills which would help move fast on the | | | | person has a point about your behavior, own it |
| career path. Lack of reading skills or not | | | | (this is the ". . .without violating the rights of |
| concentrating much on reading the latest | | | | others" part). Bulldozing over that is aggressive.o |
| developments in your field will make you a novice | | | | Accept someone's criticism as feedback rather |
| in the workplace. Those who update knowledge | | | | than an attack. (e.g., "You could be right about |
| of their field continuously will climb the ladder of | | | | that. . .", "That is entirely possible, knowing me. . .") |
| success in the workplace without many hassles. | | | | Where is the value in fighting another's negative |
| Those who doesn't concentrate on improving their | | | | opinion about us? Perspective is hard to change |
| reading skills will not be in the race of promotion | | | | when directly challenged. This shows that IF their |
| or any kind of other career developing appraisals | | | | perspective were true, you'd own it. |
| happen from time to time in the continuous | | | | V - Challenging False Informationo When attacked |
| learning organizations. | | | | with false and negative statements, do not fall |
| Writing i.e. letter drafting and report writing forms | | | | prey to defensiveness. That only escalates |
| part of the life of a professional wherein one has | | | | emotions.o Look for the grain of truth and |
| to possess these skills to become an effective | | | | validate it. This knocks barrier walls down and |
| manager. A professional has to master the art of | | | | opens the door for discussion about the real |
| writing which is useful in the workplace to | | | | problem.o At times people are rigid and a more |
| communicate effectively and to assert his stand | | | | forceful stance is needed. E.g., "I'm sorry, I simply |
| in every situation. Lack of writing skills will be an | | | | do not see it that way, but you are more than |
| obstruction in the progress of one's career path | | | | entitled to your opinion."o Disagree, using factual |
| and can mar the future prospects. | | | | information. E.g., "Actually, I was at work, so that |
| Barriers in communication can be overcome with | | | | could not have been me." |
| concentration and observation. Focusing on the | | | | VI - Pumping the Negativeso When criticized, ask |
| mode of communication and its effectiveness will | | | | for more negative feedback - do so assertively, |
| help to reduce the effectiveness of barriers in | | | | as though you are trying to learn more about |
| communication. In an 'open cabin culture' in the | | | | how to be better in that area (and in fact, that |
| work place, one cannot expect 'noiseless' | | | | should be your goal). E.g., "Tell me more about |
| atmosphere. Cell phones in the workplace also will | | | | what is bothering you about my report."o Stay |
| become barriers for effective communication. To | | | | task oriented!!! If you slip into emotions and get |
| avoid barriers in communication in the workplace, | | | | offended, you lose. Pump practical negatives (not |
| one has to develop 'accommodating culture'. | | | | baseless criticisms) and how your actions can be |
| Basics of Effective Communicationo It matters | | | | improved to help solve the problems. |
| not so much what you say as it does how you | | | | VII - Humoro Humor breaks down negative |
| say it.o Your communication style is a SET of | | | | emotions.o Humor can put tense situations at |
| various behaviors and methods of relaying | | | | ease.o When grain of truth is found, joke about it |
| information that impact all facets of life.o The goal | | | | while owning it.o Be careful to use humor |
| should always be to understand - not to be right.o | | | | appropriately and professionally. |
| Get the facts before you pass judgment. Some | | | | When Aggression is Appropriateo In an |
| styles lend themselves better to this than | | | | emergencyo When there is not time to spend on |
| others.o Learning all communication styles is | | | | a compromise.o When your opinion is based on |
| important in order to avoid communicating in less | | | | several facts, you therefore KNOW you are right, |
| effective ways and in order to recognize those | | | | and there is not time to utilize assertiveness skills. |
| styles in others so as to be able to deal with | | | | When Passivity is Appropriateo When the results |
| them.o People are not difficult. They only seem | | | | of pushing the issue would cause problems that |
| difficult to the extent that we do not have the | | | | outweigh the benefits.o When issues are minor.o |
| skills to deal with what they bring to the table. It | | | | When there is a power differential that is not in |
| is our lack of knowledge that makes the situation | | | | your favor and the other party is getting agitated |
| difficult. | | | | by your assertiveness.o When the other |
| Which is the Best Style?o All styles have their | | | | individual's position is impossible to change. (E.g., the |
| proper place and use.o Assertive communication is | | | | law). |
| the healthiest. | | | | What is "Okay" in Assertive Behavior?o It is okay |
| - Boundaries of all parties are respected. | | | | to say "I don't know."o It is okay to say "No," or |
| - Easier to problem-solve; fewer emotional | | | | "I cannot do that."o It is okay to make mistakes |
| outbursts. | | | | as long as responsibility is taken for them.o It is |
| - It requires skills and a philosophy change, as well | | | | okay to disagree and to verbalize that.o It is okay |
| as lots of practice and hard work. | | | | to challenge others' opinions or actions.o It is okay |
| - When both parties do it, no one is hurt in any | | | | to not accept another's opinion as factual or |
| way and all parties win on some level. | | | | accurate (e.g., getting criticized).o It is okay to ask |
| Understanding Communication Styles - Passive, | | | | for a change in behavior. |
| Aggressive, and Assertive Communication - | | | | Cultivate the habit of communicating assertively, |
| Passive Communicationo Allowing our own rights | | | | to enhance your effectiveness in the workplace. |
| to be violated by failing to express our honest | | | | Measurable performance is always assessed by |
| feelings.o The goal of being a passive | | | | way of your positive communication skills. If you |
| communicator is to avoid conflict no matter | | | | are not an effective communicator, you may not |
| what.o Little risk involved - very safe.o Little eye | | | | be in a position to sell yourself effectively in the |
| contact, often defers to others' opinions, usually | | | | workplace. Thus, effective communication plays |
| quiet tone, may suddenly explode after being | | | | vital role for your success in professional life as |
| passive too long. | | | | well as in your personal life. |